Nostalgia

"Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days"

-Doug Larson

The good ol' days.

The time before any kind of adult-like maturity.

A time where I was learning the intricate workings of the world. A time that was covered in the Spanish moss dangling from Floridian trees on my very first independent vacation. A time flooded with memories of beer-soaked basement bands, grand sightseeing, and all-consuming love.

But hindsight is always 20/20, and often very heavily romanticized.

Nostalgia, for me, feels a lot like tetris. Isolated blocks of exclusively good moments. Moments stored in some distant sock drawer in the mind. Like a book whose only purpose is to be briefly and tenderly reread.

But like.. It's not actually like that, is it?

The good times are made of highlights and it's easy to get lost in that. In reality, life is made of complications and randomness. I used to struggle with balancing the two. Learning to balance the letting go with the appreciation. I guess it felt like I could only feel one at a time, and it was ever the more confusing to be feeling this way about a once-great situation or friendship. I couldn't be reminded of the sunshine of these things without also experiencing storms.

Since then, I've learned that complicated is beautiful. Each of us are complex, beautiful beings with our own intricate stories. The same can be applied to our experiences and memories in which we draw from. There is good in the bad, but the opposite is also true. I learned to validate these things within myself, and it was empowering. Once I realized that I am the only real contributer to my perception, I became powerful (for lack of a better word).

I became unapologetic and independent. Fierce, deliberate, and gentle became synonymous for me. It was, and is, beautiful. I became free to be me.

Been pondering on that a lot lately, and I so believe that everyone should take a beat to validate themselves.

Become powerful. Become a wild and outspoken force of nature.

It'll be the best thing for you :)